South America, Day Nineteen: Cusco, Peru

Not sure how many hours it’s been but the twenty-four hour thing is definitely not over. I’ve taken pills a plenty so hopefully I’m medicated and motivated. Talking of drugs; we managed to buy some diazepam from a hooky chemist. Ten for fifteen soles (£3.53). This almost makes up for the war that’s currently waging in my insides. Almost.

Today’s been pretty chilled… we went on a walking tour and it was so dull / boring, so we did a runner before the end. Bad form, I know, but ah well. That’s when we found the no-prescription-necessary chemist.

We had lunch at Jack’s again (renowned for serving food that won’t destroy your digestive system) but we’re still not feeling all the ticket.

Last night, we went to Paddy’s Pub (Jack’s and Paddy’s are linked) but I wasn’t very well so could only eat a few mouthfuls of my soup. Not like me at all. I’m gonna be size zero when I get back.

We’re going to Korma Sutra tonight for dinner. Probably not wise, given the circumstances, but I need some spice in my life. It’s been eighteen days without chilli. Part of me thinks it’ll sort me out if I order and eat a phaal. The other part of me thinks it might be my undoing but, hey, life’s about taking risks, right?

After a wee respite, we headed out for a couple of pisco sours and a Jenga session at Indigo. It was a cool place but very empty at 4pm. But the happy hour (which lasts all night) starts then so we didn’t really care. Before dinner, we went to KMO for… you guessed it…. another pisco. There’s live music there after 10pm but we unfortunately missed it because we had other things in mind. Semi-sozzled, we picked up our laundry, moaned about losing some socks, and then headed out for the evening. I stayed true to form and finished every last mouthful of my phaal. I was rewarded with a certificate and a pint of beer. It was actually the best curry I’ve had in a very, very long time… a little hot to handle… which is just the way I like it. I’m hoping the fire from the phaal will kill whatever’s inside my gut causing havoc.

After dinner, we caught the tail end of a salsa class. It was really cool actually and I wished we’d have joined in. We didn’t stay long because it got a bit boring watching others having fun and getting sexy so we decided to give the Milhouse hostel bar a try. We were supposed to stay for one drink but we met a couple of guys; Daniel from San Francisco, and Ryan from Australia. Before we knew it, we were playing doubles at pool. And then, being the only women in the bar, caught the attention of the barmen (Felipe and Zach) and suddenly got roped into playing beer pong. Neither of us won so we just carried on drinking while Danial and Ryan played in the finals. We also met a cool guy called Jesse.

Then we all headed out to Mama Africa but we didn’t stay long because it felt like a cattle market. The barman practically raped Vicki’s face with his tongue (she definitely did not consent) and men left, right and centre groped us left, right and centre. It was horrible. Sleazy, slimy creatures, they were, so I got my elbow out on more than one occasion and I like to think I’ve left some bruises on several unsuspecting ribs tonight. Grabby gits. I imagine it’s because we look like gringos as opposed to anything else. Mama Africa did have a certain charm though –if you can “let go”, force yourself to enjoy the gyration and forget you’re in a sweat pit, then you’ll have a ball!